yeah baby i am an ANIMAL in bed. more specifically a koala. i can sleep for 22 hours a day
And I learned ‘You deserve better’
was sometimes no more
than a synonym for ‘I don’t want to hurt you,
and I want you to be happy,
but I don’t love you anymore." Beau Taplin, You Deserve Better (via versteur)
I’m gonna be the mom that your teenage son fantasizes about
Customer: I want a nice chocolate cake for my young son, and he likes trucks, so could you maybe do a little frosting picture of a truck on the top?
Cake Boss: SOS WHAT WES GUNNA DO IS MAKE A GIANT TRUCK ENTIRELY OUTTA RICE CRISPIES AND COVA DAT IN FONDANT AND IZ GUNNA SHOOT SPARKS AND CATCH FIYAH, POSSIBLY KILLIN YOUR SON IN DA PROCESS.